


The Letter//JeanMarco One-Shot

by taylormaede



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, Romance, Spoilers, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-25
Updated: 2017-07-25
Packaged: 2018-12-07 01:08:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11612787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taylormaede/pseuds/taylormaede
Summary: He wished he would look at him the same way he did to her. He wished there was a way to confess his true feelings for him, to be with him. Time was beginning to run out, and he knew he would have to say something before he is too late.





	The Letter//JeanMarco One-Shot

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: This is my first attempt at writing a one-shot, and I’m trying to practice a bit with my fan fiction and writing in general, so I hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think, what could be improved and so on.  
> 

* * *

Three years have passed since the new recruits of the 104th Trainee Squad have been enlisted. Three years of going through trial and error to get through their training, some taking it more seriously than others, competing to show their strength and grow to become soldiers. The superior officers watched as the Cadets were slowly growing in strength; they had first come into the camps as scrawny young children, not truly knowing what would be in store, but eventually during those three hellish years they grew up to become young men and women that would serve their hearts fighting back for humanity. Slowly, but surely. Graduation was just a few weeks away, and sure enough, it was quite a worrisome event that would determine which ten out of the hundreds of trainees would be deemed worthy enough of gaining access into the interior, whilst the remaining trainees would have to choose out of retirement or truly sealing their fate within the Garrison Brigade or stepping outside the walls in the Survey Corps.

One particular Cadet named Jean Kirstein had only one goal set in mind: To get into the interior for the high life he felt he deserved. Better to live safely than risk getting himself killed, he always thought, unlike someone else he knew. That was all that mattered in his training—just to get into the top ten and become the best just to live the good life, no worries of having to face the Titans up close and living in luxury, not having to worry about anything anymore.  
  
Throughout his time in the Cadets, he met many whom he would be acquainted with and some he would grow to despise. Another Cadet he knew would grow to become his closest friend through thick and thin was Marco Bott, whom was also competing to get into the top ten. But he was different from the others—he didn’t want to join the Military Police just for the sake of living the high life. He was actually willing to dedicate his heart into serving the king rather than lazing around in the interior much like most would have in mind. He felt he actually had a purpose to serve and dedicate his life for the greater good.

Three years come and go. Over that period of time, Marco began to feel something he never felt before. He wasn’t sure about these feelings, if they were truly real. But when he was around Jean, he knew there was a longing he couldn’t ignore so easily. His heart pounded faster, and he felt butterflies in his stomach when he looked into his eyes. Whenever Jean’s attention was on Mikasa Ackerman, Marco wished Jean would look at him the same way he did at her. He wished there was some way he could be with him. But he was afraid he wouldn’t feel the same way towards him.

Graduation was just one more week away. The final exams had been completed, and the trainees waited anxiously for the results to be in within the next few days. One day, when he was alone, Marco spent the remainder of the evening in the forest. He felt he could express how he felt about Jean in his own words by writing him a letter. So for the rest of that evening, Marco sat in the grass with his back pressed against the tree and wrote down his true feelings about him. Halfway through, he stopped his writing. He couldn’t help but smile as he reflected on the many memories he shared with Jean during all those years; some happy, some sad, but in the end, it was all worth getting to where they were at this moment.

Marco was so deep in thought that he almost didn’t notice someone approaching towards him from behind.

“Marco?”

He quickly turned around, hiding the letter so Jean couldn’t see it.

Jean raised his hands in surprise when he saw how startled Marco was. “Hey, calm down, it’s just me,” he said.

He sighed. “Sorry,” Marco said, chuckling. “You scared me.”

“Clearly. What were you doing out here anyway? You missed out on dinner.”

Marco lowered his head, scratching the back of his head. “I’ve just been working on something. I guess I lost track of time.”

“What is it?” Jean asked.

“Uhh...just a letter...”

“For who?”

Marco’s cheeks reddened slightly, making Jean grin.

“Ohhh, I see. Is it for a special someone back at home?”

Marco chuckled. “Well...”

Jean laughed once more, lightly nudging his shoulder. “Wow, Marco, I didn’t know you had it in ya! Who’s the lucky gal, huh? You’ve known her for long?”

“Well, not really...It’s silly, honestly.” Marco cleared his throat and quickly got back up on his feet. “Hey, we should get back, or we won’t hear the end of it from Instructor Shadis.”

Jean raised his eyebrow, but smirked. “All right, Marco.” He pat his back. “We’ll talk more about your girlfriend later.”

~

The next day, Marco had finished writing his letter. He kept it tucked away tight in his papers, hoping Jean nor anyone else would see it. In the back of his mind, he even wondered if he would want to give it to him. However, he feared that would only lead to Jean rejecting his feelings—then what he would he think of him from then on? He’d remind himself constantly he’d have to keep it hidden away so no one would dare know of its existence.

But after the instructor’s lessons, he didn’t even notice the letter slip out of his paperwork on his way out of class. No one seemed to notice all except the blonde boy, whom was the last to leave the room. He turned around when he saw the paper slip out of Marco’s books, then kneeled down to pick up the piece of paper.

Marco sat on the bottom bunk as he was looking through his paperwork. That’s when he realized he couldn’t find the letter in its original place. A sense of anxiety fell upon him. He felt his heart fall to his stomach as many thoughts raced through his mind. What if someone were to see it? What if Jean saw it? What if someone already read it? Marco tried not to show his worry as he hurriedly raced back towards the instructor’s classroom, thinking it must have fallen out in there. He was halfway there just until he almost ran into the blonde boy, whom was on his way towards the boys’ bunk.

“A-Armin!” Marco said, surprised. He glanced down to see he was holding a piece of paper in his hands.

He was speechless. He really didn’t know what to say or how to feel at that moment. All he could do was lower his head in embarrassment.

Armin gave a reassuring smile and held the paper out towards him. “Here. I think it might’ve fallen out on your way out of class,” he murmured.

Marco, his face as red as an apple, glanced down at him. He smiled back and took the letter. “Thank you, Armin.”

Armin nodded. “You know, it’s really a nice letter. I never even knew you felt that way about him.”

Marco chuckled, still feeling quite embarrassed that his secret had been discovered.

“Have you planned to give it to him?”

“...I don’t know. I’m not even sure if he feels the same way.” Marco turned to leave, looking down at the letter. Before Armin was about to walk off himself, Marco stopped in his tracks. “Armin!” he called.

Armin turned around.

“Don’t tell Jean, please...I...I still need time to figure out how...”

Armin could see the worry in Marco’s eyes. He could see that as much as he wanted his feelings to be known, he wasn’t ready to truly confess. “Don’t worry. I won’t tell him,” he assured him. “But, listen. I don’t know much on this kind of stuff, but if I were you, I wouldn’t wait to tell him. It’s better to jump at the chance and tell him before it’s too late.”

Marco nodded his head. “Okay.” He smiled. “Thanks, Armin.”

Armin walked off back to the boys’ bunk, leaving Marco there alone to skim through his letter once more. After he said that, Marco knew this couldn’t wait any longer. He would have to tell him before it was too late. He had very little time left. It wouldn’t be easy, but it was worth a chance at being with the one he cared about the most.

Graduation came a lot quicker than the trainees expected. Jean and Marco, astonishingly, were two out of the many trainees to top the class together with Jean at number six and Marco at number seven. Tomorrow they would get to go to the MP’s together. He told himself tomorrow would be the day he would tell him once they went into the interior. He felt they could soon be happy together...

But that happiness was gone in an instant.

Jean would soon lose his best friend. The only one who understood him. The only one who saw him as a true soldier rather than a stick in the mud.

The only one who actually had faith in him.

Jean stood there with his comrades, watching as they had to burn the remains of those who tragically fell victim in the Battle of Trost. A day that would serve as a reminder that no matter what, the Titans were still above them. No matter what, no matter when. As Jean stood there, he felt an emptiness inside of him. Something he never felt before.

Armin had never seen Jean so broken. It was very pitiful to watch him go from this cocky young teenager to becoming so mournful. He wished there was a way to help him through his grief.

Then he realized how he could help. That night, Armin slipped away into the boys’ bunk and made his way towards Marco’s old bunk. He almost didn’t feel right having to go through Marco’s belongings, but he knew it was necessary to help his best friend greatly. So he would have one last piece of him. He searched through his old assignments until he found what he was looking for.

On the night before the recruitment—the night before the trainees would seal their fate in choosing between the Survey Corps, Garrison Brigade, or the MP’s—Armin searched the whole camp for Jean. It took time to actually find him, but he eventually found Jean sitting at the exact same spot Marco sat when he wrote that letter. It didn’t even feel that long ago at all.

Armin carefully approached him, afraid one sudden move would set him off. “Um...Jean?” he murmured.

Jean didn’t look up, nor did he speak.

Armin sighed. “Jean, listen, I have something that I think you should see.” He took the folded piece of paper out of his pocket and held it out before him.

Jean slightly glanced up to see the folded paper in Armin’s hand. “What is that?” he muttered.

Armin gulped. “It’s something he wrote for you. Just read it.”

Jean glared at Armin, then studied the paper. He was unsure about it at first, but he sighed heavily before taking the paper and started to unfold it. Armin nodded, then walked away to give him some privacy. He shouldn’t be bothered at this time, he thought.

Jean studied the handwriting. It was definitely Marco’s—he could instantly make it out as his.

_Jean,_

_Can you believe we made it this far? How fast those three years flew by? Didn’t feel so long ago, did it? I remember it like yesterday at the interrogation, how Instructor Shadis got in our faces. I remember how you completely kept your composure, even after he knocked you to the ground. The others didn’t believe you could really make it into the MP’s, but I don’t believe them for a second. I could see you grow into a soldier, and there are no words telling how happy I am to see you grow to become the best._

_If one of us doesn’t get into the interior, there’s something I want you to know. I have to be honest, these three years with you have been the best years of my life. I wouldn’t be willing to change any of it. But there has been something I've been realizing. I started to notice that every time we're together, I smile more. I see the way you look at Mikasa, and I realize that I wish it was me. I think I fell in love with you. I wish there was an easier way to say it, but it is something I never felt before, and I was unsure of your own feelings. I don’t know if you feel the same way about me, and even if you don’t, I want you to know that I’m still grateful to have you in my life, and I’m proud to consider you my good friend._

_Thank you, Jean, for making my three years here the happiest years of my life. I wish you the best of luck if you make the top ten, or the best partnership if we get in together._

_I love you._

_-Marco._

Jean sat there with his back pressed against the tree. He glanced up at the night sky. The full moon’s light radiated over him. How could he have never known Marco felt this way about him all these years? Why didn’t he actually look deep enough to see? He gave him the happiest three years of his short life, and he felt he didn’t give him enough. Holding the letter close to his broken heart, he let the tears escape and stream down his face.

“Marco...I’m sorry...”

After the events that took place in Trost, Jean made up his mind. He decided he wouldn’t waste his time lazing around in the interior when his dear friend knew he could be so much more. So on that dreadful night of the recruitment, Jean vowed to actually take action and fight back for the glory of humanity. He was one of the very few to seal is fate when he joined the Survey Corps. He hope to become what Marco knew he could truly become, when he knew he could be so much more: A soldier.

**Fin.**

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: Shingeki no Kyojin/Attack on Titan is owned by Hajime Isayama & Kodansha


End file.
